It's a mess

Love is a strange and beautiful thing.
Even though it can hurt so much, I still find myself chasing it all around, trying to hold it in my hands, if maybe just for a moment.

I promise that I will find it.

I've been seeing someone without seeing them, I suppose.  I feel for him, I want him, I even crave him.  But I am only his plan B.  I guess that stings.  But I've never met someone like him before, someone I am so attracted to, that is obviously attracted to me in return.  It hurts.  We're being friends right now, as he started seeing someone just before me.  But that tension is there.  The sexting.  The touch on the arm that lingers a little longer than normal.  The compliments. The eye contact... that melts.

Why can't I let him go?
Why can't he let him go?

If he sleeps with me, I will never trust him because he is officially a cheater.  Maybe that's not so true, because I'd hope that the sex would seal the deal in my favour... but the idea will lurk in my mind I'm quite sure.

If we don't sleep together, I'll lose him. 

It's a mess.

Out with him at the club, last night, we ran into a mutual friend.  It was so tough, because the mutual friend knows the other guy my guy is seeing.  Every time I heard that name my face would wince, every time I'd wince my date would wince because I did.

Can I just friend zone this beautiful man?
My hesitation lies within the idea that it's often hard to go from friends to lovers, and maybe worse when it clearly should have been just lovers from the get go.