Dracula Snow Globe. Or: Tears for fears.

A great day.
Lunch with pals, shopping with one of my favorite people on the planet.  I found an awesome little Dracula snow globe.  Halloween is the best time for me to find home decor.  Is that creepy?

Full on functioning as a single boy.  It gets easier some days.  Some days... not so much.  Today I am lucky to have it easy.

I think I can pretty much predict that it will feel tough again, but not as bad as before.  Everyday it changes.  Talking to my friend today, I remembered how it felt to cry on the floor for days.  How it felt to not be able to eat or drink or do anything but just lay in that spot.  Sometimes I'd throw up from crying so much. I remembered my roommate at the time Nolan, and how he'd step over me to get to the other room, as even he could see that the only one that can put me back together is me.  That must have been gross for him...

 That was YEARS ago.  I have come a long way.  Every time it gets easier to pick up the pieces.

Problematically, I am no longer grieving the loss of love, but more irritated by the absence of it.  However, as I said before, today is not one of the bad days.

How does one make an effort to ensure these days are more and more good?  I haven't learned the answer to that yet.

Perhaps my room being clean and organized will help.  I have been working on this bedroom for a while now... It really hasn't felt good to me since my birthday this year, in May.  That was when I watched myself slowly begin to unravel.  I think when this room is done, I may start to feel good everyday.  Or at least every night.  Lets find out. 

I think I bought the snow globe as a way to force myself to clean this room.  It is, after all, a Dracula themed room.  Why would I put a delicate snow globe in here if it was messy and crazy?  It would only get broken.  Tonight, before I rest my head, this room will be functional!

Back to work... I still need my beauty sleep.

C.